The Effect of Putting Someone on a Pedestal

Have you ever found yourself putting someone on a pedestal? (Specifically, someone you’re dating.) Have you caught yourself worrying whether you’re good enough for a man you’re interested in? Maybe you analyze every text, overthink your conversations, or secretly worry he’s out of your league.

Sound familiar? You’re not alone.

Many women fall into the trap of idealizing men, especially when they’re truly interested. I’ve been there too! For years, I felt like I needed to earn a man’s attention. I’d overanalyze messages, try to be “perfect” on dates, and constantly worry about messing things up. (Spoiler: trying to be perfect is exhausting—and it doesn’t work.)

What Happens When You Put a Man on a Pedestal?

When you constantly seek validation from a man, you unintentionally give away your power. This shifts the dating dynamic and puts you in a weaker position. You might find yourself:

• Chasing his attention instead of effortlessly receiving it
• Waiting for him to choose you instead of steering your own love life
• Accepting crumbs instead of experiencing the deep, mutual connection you truly desire

And here’s the tough truth…

Men can sense when you lack confidence and personal power—and it actually makes you less attractive to them.

Ouch, right? That used to be difficult for me to hear. But once I truly understood it, my entire dating experience transformed.

What If You Flipped the Script? Is He Good Enough for You?

Let’s change the narrative. Instead of wondering if you’re good enough for him, ask yourself: Is he good enough for YOU?

A high-value woman doesn’t spend her time trying to be chosen—she chooses who deserves her energy. And let me tell you, that shift in energy is incredibly magnetic.

Think of it this way: If you were hiring for your dream business, would you beg someone to work with you? Of course not! You’d set clear standards, ask meaningful questions, and select the best fit for your vision. Why should dating be any different?

When you truly own your worth, you:

• Naturally radiate confidence that’s irresistible
• Stop settling for men who give you mixed signals or minimal effort
• Attract high-quality partners who treat you well

I know—

It sounds straightforward, but making this mental shift can feel challenging. Trust me, it’s worth it. When you approach dating with self-awareness, set clear boundaries, and aren’t afraid to walk away from the wrong men, you’ll naturally attract the right kind of partner—someone who treats you with respect, values you, and loves you for who you are.

4 Questions to Reclaim Your Power in Dating

Here are the questions I share with my clients to help them gain clarity while navigating the dating world. Be completely honest with yourself…

1. How does this person make me feel about myself?
   • Do they lift me up and make me feel confident and valued, or do they bring me down and make me question my self-worth?
2. Are our values and goals aligned?
   • Do we share similar beliefs, interests, and visions for the future?
   • Attraction is important, but if your core values don’t align, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.
3. How do they communicate with me?
   • Do they listen actively, communicate openly and honestly, and respect my thoughts and feelings?
   • Or do I feel like I’m constantly decoding their messages, chasing their attention, or trying to earn their affection?
4. Can I be my authentic self around them?
   • Do I feel comfortable and accepted for who I truly am, without having to pretend or change to meet their expectations?
   • Or do I feel like I need to “perform” to maintain their interest?

If some of your answers made you uncomfortable, don’t worry—this is your wake-up call to adjust your approach.

Take Back Your Power & Attract the Right Man

It’s time to stop chasing men who don’t meet your standards and start attracting those who do.

When you stop over-giving and start receiving, the right man will step up. When you know your value, you won’t tolerate anything less than respect, effort, and consistency. And when you embrace your worth, you naturally attract the kind of love you deserve.

So let me ask you: Are you ready to reclaim your power and start attracting the right man into your life?

If you’re done playing small in dating and ready to step into your highest self—let’s talk! In a Let’s Talk Love Call, we’ll uncover what’s been holding you back and create a plan to attract the kind of man who recognizes your worth without you having to prove it.

It’s time to stop wondering if you’re good enough for him… and start making sure he’s good enough for you.

Related posts:

Dealing with Emotions of Dating Emotional Connection With a Man The Upside of a Break-Up What Men Want From Women Turn Relationship Conflict into Connection How to Know When You Meet the Right Man Getting Attached Too Soon Why Men Pull Away in Relationships