The Effect of Putting Someone on a Pedestal

Have you ever found yourself putting someone on a pedestal? (Particularly someone you’re dating.) Do you catch yourself worrying whether you’re good enough for a man you’re interested in? Maybe you overanalyze his messages, carefully monitor what you say around him, or secretly fear he might be out of your league.

Does this sound familiar? You’re definitely not alone.

Many women fall into the pattern of idealizing men, especially when they’re genuinely interested. I certainly did! For the longest time, I felt like I needed to earn a man’s attention. I would obsess over text messages, attempt to present a “perfect” version of myself on dates, and constantly worry about making mistakes. (Spoiler alert: striving for perfection is exhausting—and ultimately ineffective.)

The Consequences of Putting a Man on a Pedestal

When you constantly seek validation from a man, you inadvertently surrender your personal power. This shifts the dating dynamic into an unbalanced position where you end up:

• Chasing his attention rather than naturally receiving it
• Waiting for him to choose you instead of actively directing your romantic life
• Accepting minimal effort instead of experiencing the deep, reciprocal connection you truly deserve

And here’s the challenging truth…

Men can detect when you lack confidence and self-assurance, which ultimately diminishes your attractiveness to them.

That stings, doesn’t it? I used to find this difficult to accept. But once I truly internalized this understanding, my entire dating experience transformed.

What If You Changed the Narrative? Is He Truly Good Enough for You?

Let’s rewrite the script. Instead of questioning whether you’re good enough for him, ask yourself: Is he truly good enough for YOU?

A woman who knows her value doesn’t wait to be chosen—she actively chooses who deserves her time and energy. And let me tell you, that shift in perspective is incredibly magnetic.

Consider this: If you were hiring for your dream company, would you beg someone to work for you? Of course not! You’d establish clear standards, ask meaningful questions, and select the best candidate for the role. Why should dating be any different?

When you genuinely embody your self-worth, you:

• Naturally radiate confidence that draws people toward you
• Stop accepting minimal effort from men who aren’t fully invested
• Attract high-quality partners who treat you with the respect you deserve

I understand—

This might sound straightforward in theory, but implementing this mindset shift can feel challenging. However, trust me—it’s absolutely worth the effort. When you approach dating with self-assurance, establish clear boundaries, and feel empowered to walk away from incompatible partners, you’ll naturally begin attracting the right type of man—someone who treats you well, respects you, and loves you for who you truly are.

4 Powerful Questions to Reclaim Your Dating Confidence

Here are the questions I share with my clients to help them gain clarity while navigating the dating world. Be completely honest with yourself as you consider them…

1. How does this person make me feel about myself?
   • Do they uplift me and make me feel confident and valued, or do they diminish my sense of self-worth?
2. Are our values and goals aligned?
   • Do we share similar beliefs, interests, and visions for our futures?
   • While attraction is important, if your core values don’t align, you’re setting yourself up for potential disappointment.
3. How do they communicate with me?
   • Do they listen attentively, communicate openly and honestly, and respect my perspectives and feelings?
   • Or do I find myself trying to interpret their messages, chasing their attention, or feeling like I need to earn their affection?
4. Can I be my authentic self around them?
   • Do I feel comfortable and accepted for who I truly am, without feeling pressure to change or meet certain expectations?
   • Or do I feel like I need to perform or pretend to maintain their interest?

If some of your answers made you uncomfortable, don’t worry—this is your opportunity to transform your approach to dating.

Reclaim Your Power and Attract the Right Partner

It’s time to stop pursuing men who don’t meet your standards and start attracting those who genuinely do.

When you stop overextending yourself and start receiving, the right man will naturally step forward. When you truly understand your value, you won’t accept anything less than respect, consistent effort, and genuine commitment. And when you fully embrace your worth, you effortlessly attract the love you deserve.

So let me ask you: Are you ready to reclaim your power and start attracting the right man into your life?

If you’re finished with playing small in dating and prepared to embrace your most empowered self—let’s connect! During a Let’s Talk Love Call, we’ll identify what’s been holding you back and create a personalized plan to attract a man who recognizes your worth without you having to constantly prove it.

It’s time to stop wondering if you’re good enough for him… and start ensuring he’s truly good enough for you.

Related posts:

Being Vulnerable in Love Improve your Communication with Men Conflict in Dating. Is it Healthy? How To Stop Obsessing Over Your Ex Ending a Relationship: What No One Tells You About Letting Go with Love What Men Want From Women How to Attract Real Love Without Playing Games or Losing Yourself The Secret to Being Magnetic in Dating